Spin Class

My work out regiment has essentially been one or two visits to the gym with Aaron, and one or two sessions on my indoor bicycle trainer. That sounds like a lot, but it has been relatively inconsistent from week to week. After much coercion, Aaron and his wife finally convinced me that I needed to give spinning class a chance. Did it this past Sunday morning. And despite a couple of shocks from a defibrillator and an EKG test, I seemed to have survived, and am resting comfortably.

Just kidding.

My journey actually began on Saturday night. After my wife was already asleep, I went over to her side of the bed, slowly lifted the duvet, and had a heart-to-heart with my child.

"Look kid," I said softly. "I have committed myself to go to a spin class in the morning, and I really don't want to do it. At this point, the only thing that is going to save me if for you to make a break for it, ummm, so to speak. So please, do your Dad a solid tonight, huh?"

Not even born, already rebelling. He/she is hereby grounded for the next month.

I nervously walked into the class that Aaron had already signed us up for. I resisted the urge to introduce myself to the instructor to ensure he had some sort of liability insurance, and instead gave Aaron a list of allergies and pre-existing medical conditions to give to the medics when they got there.

If you have never been to a spin class before, it starts with a nice instructor leading the group in a few stretches while they are warming up on their machines. Soon thereafter, the instructor turns into a vampire. But not the kind that sucks your blood. Oh no. Worse. The kind that inflict great pain and humiliation, and strip you of your soul. Sprint! Climb! Lean forward! Sprint! Climb! DIE! DIE! DIE!!!

My thoughts:

9:03 - These stretches are easy. Nice to losen up.
9:07 - This isn't so bad.
9:12 - Working up a good sweat. Should have agreed to do this a long time ago.
9:18 - Thighs are starting to burn. This is great! I feel awesome. I could go all day. I wonder if there is a prize for being the first to finish all 200km in June...
9:26 - Strange...its starting to get a little hot in here. Maybe the furnace is broken...
9:31 - I think I broke the machine. The tension seems to be getting higher on its own.
9:34 - OH MY GOD! I WANT TO DIE! WHY AM I DOING THIS? WHY DID I LISTEN TO AARON? LOOK AT HIM OVER THERE! HE IS SO SMUG! LOOKS LIKE HE IS STROLLING THROUGH CENTRAL PARK ON A SUNNY AFTEROON! I HATE HIM AND HIS BEARD! WHY IS HE TORTURING ME? I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS! I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE IT TO MY 32ND BIRTHDAY! WHY DO HUMANS DO THIS TO THEMSELVES? I AM SEEING SPOTS IN FRONT OF MY EYES! I CAN'T BREATH! WHATS FOR LUNCH? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

And so on for the next twenty minutes before we start stretching again.

Had to be the most physically demanding thing I have ever done. I felt nauseous at least twice, and it took me 15 minutes to get up one flight of stairs when I got home. But it was worth it. I can't imagine I have ever burned 450 calories in one hour before. We are going to try going every week for now, and maybe at some point up to twice a week.

I don't think it is going to get any easier for the next few weeks, but maybe it will at some point. Just in case, I will be sure to bring a cross and some holy water to each class. And I want the instructor to know that I am more than willing to sacrifice Aaron. Sorry dude, sometimes you have to make tough decisions.

Later.