Monday, February 28, 2011

F*cking Spin Class


Those that are close to me know that I love to cook. And if I do say so myself, I think I am a pretty good cook. I presume the reason for this is my filthy, lustful, adulterous relationship with eating.

That said, what do one stick of butter, one pound of pasta, one pound of sharp cheddar cheese, one can of condensed milk, and a splash of white wine have in common? Well, they are the key ingredients in my super awesome macaroni and cheese recipe. It is good. REALLY good. Most of you probably just gained a few pounds reading about it.

With a few family members feeling under the weather, I made a great big batch of it this weekend. I made some for my brother-in-law’s family, and some for my wife, and some for my baby girl. And I didn’t eat any of it. None. And it hurt. I think a little water boarding would have felt a better. I hate being on a stupid diet.

I figure after 5 blog entries of avoiding discussion about actually doing some training, I should finally get off my massive rear and get going. It’s not like I haven’t done anything at all – I had been spending minimal time on the indoor trainer. I also walk to the kitchen every single morning. And to my car. That kind of counts, right?

Yes, I have been a little lazy on getting going, but to be honest, I spent about a month fighting a cold. Having a child in daycare can really do a number on the immune system for everyone in the house.

Today, I finally got out for my first spin class of the year (you can read about my very first spin experience here). After I got up at 7:00am this morning courtesy of a 19 lb. poop machine that lives down the hall, I headed to a packed class at the Oakville YMCA, where I was easily the youngest, and fattest, spinner in the room. Hmph. This isn’t going to be good…

And it wasn’t. I was feeling good to begin with, but then really hit a wall at about the 15 minute mark, which is a tad early in a 60 minute class. I kept on pushing through, until I really had trouble starting to breath. A long held asthma condition reared its ugly head for the first time in years during my cold, so it was a good thing I had my inhaler with me. Unfortunately, they take a minute to two to kick-in. So while I waited, my mind started to wander…

I have always had this crazy fantasy of being in a rock band. Ever since I was in high school, I would every now and then come up with a band name, and band members, and a play list for our first big show, usually at the Horseshoe Tavern, or Massey Hall in Toronto. The band name I usually steal from whatever band I am listening to at the moment - right now it is Chicago-based band OK GO.

The band members are friends of mine, regardless of what musical talents they actually have. Right now, my drummer is my buddy Greg, who I met at business school. I don’t know if Greg plays the drums, but if he did, I am sure he would just beat them senseless. My old roommate Armen would play guitar, and share lead singing duties with me. Armen and I always had similar taste in music. My friend Heather would the bass player, and also sing. Honestly, is there anything hotter than a female bass player? Of course not. Finally, her husband Aaron would play keyboard, at Heather’s insistence, so he had people to hang out with.

I would be lead singer (god help us all), really animated on stage, with all these crazy facial expressions for each song. I would change the lyrics to our songs during live shows to reflect current events, and would sweat buckets dancing around during the entire set. We would open our shows with Sloan’s “The Good in Everyone.” Armen would start the song on stage by himself playing the intro over and over again, until the rest of us would finally join him just in time to start the rest of the song in unison (like in the song’s video). During the course of the show, we would play some Modest Mouse, OK GO, Arcade Fire, Ben Kweller, Foo Fighters, Ben Harper, Stars, Sarah Harmer, Feist, and more Sloan. Finally, we would close out the show with “Don’t Look Back in Anger,” by Oasis. Somewhere in there, I would come out on my own for an acoustic encore, covering the Beatle’s “Across the Universe” (Notice that I would “cover” a Beatles song – all the others would be my own creations, of course)...

Okay, I think I am going to throw up. I can’t feel my legs, and I think I might actually black out. Then suddenly, I am able to take longer, deeper breaths. I check the clock and there is still a good 20 minutes to go in the class. I kind of keep my head down, and slow down my pace, refusing to make eye contact with the instructor. But I know how these guys work. They can smell failure. I could sense him shaking his head at me.

So clearly, I have a long way to go to be ready for the ride in June. I am going to have to hit the trainer with a little more regularity, and do more and more of these stupid f*cking spin classes.

Excuse the language. I watched the Oscars tonight and got a little inspired.

1 comment:

  1. YEAH! I made it in the band! WOOOOOO!

    Oh yeah, good for you, etc.